Wednesday, April 11, 2012

The Global Uplift Project OR My Cup Runneth Over OR Hooray for boobies!

No matter what you call them, boobs, boobies, ta-tas, fun bags, melons….we all have them.  And I think they could use some TLC.

Last week on Facebook, I asked my friends what it is that gives them self confidence.  I got a lot of answers ranging from the sarcastic (lots of money and good looks) to the spiritual (seeing yourself as God sees you).  These are all great answers and worth contemplating to improve your life.

My answer was; a good bra.  I mean this in all honesty.  There are few things that I think would improve a womans self esteem and confidence more than a really good bra.  You look thinner, your clothes fit better, and you get to show off what I think is one of the best parts of being a woman.  Looking feminine, to me, is the about the sexiest thing you can do.  Even when I weighed 300 pounds, I felt I looked put together because I had an amazing bra.

I get a little terrified, especially in the spring and summer.  This is the time of year when people start wearing less clothing so the twins are more noticeable, but they still wear the crappy bra!  Or sometimes no bra at all.  And guys, despite what you may think, the people who go without a bra in public, are NEVER people you want to see that way.  Pick it up off your knee and reign those puppies in!

A lot of women wear a bra that just doesn’t fit.  There are two parts you have to take into consideration; cup size, and size around your ribs.  By not getting the right size, it causes some of the worst problems, such as;

The Quad –
Not the scriptures like you might be thinking.  Nope, this is when you aren’t wearing a big enough cup size and you smash them in.  They have no choice but to pop out over the top, but not in a Victoria’s Secret model kind of way.  It more looks like you are some kind of alien with four boobs, or they are trying to escape from your body by finding their way up and out.  Not pretty.

Back Fat Bulge –
If you buy a bra that isn’t big enough for your ribcage, it will dig into your skin and cause you to look lumpy.  On some people, their rolls cover the entire back of the bra and make it look like your skin is trying to swallow your undergarment whole.  Ladies, I don’t understand, if you are a 40, buy a 40.  I know too many women who feel that size sounds too big, so they go one down to feel better.  Are you worried someone is going to come and randomly ask to see your bra tag?  Wear what fits!  Trust me, it’s better in the long run.

The Saggers –
Ladies, I’m in no position to judge.  You’ve had kids, you’ve gained and lost weight, you’re naturally busty.  It’s ok, everyone is going to sag at some point!  But you don’t have to make that evident to the world do you?  There is nothing I hate worse than looking at a woman and thinking “Why does her waist look so lumpy?  Oh wait, her boobs are in the way”  J  Wear a good underwire bra (bras without underwires are a crime against humanity in my opinion).  If you get one that fits right, it won’t be uncomfortable, I promise.

Headlights –
When it’s cold, our body shows it.  Some parts more than others.  If you are wearing a bra that is so thin that I can tell the temperature, you need a new bra.  Even just a little bit of padding will take that issue away.

So I’m going to share a little secret with you.  I found the most amazing bra in the world.  Here it is ladies.
Made by Layne Brant, your girls will look incredible.  It sells for $39, but they normally have buy one get one half off specials.  Well worth the money.

I adored this bra, until a few weeks ago.  One of my biggest fears about loosing weight, is that my boobs will disappear.  I have never exactly been small chested, but I was terrified they might disappear altogether.  I realized my bra was getting a little loose, so I headed off to Layne Bryant for a new one.  Only to be told by the sales rep that 38DD was the smallest it went!!!  Say what???  How could my self confidence booster be unavailable in my size?  She then said they had one in 36 C I could order if I wanted.  I was confused as to if this women even had boobs to be under the assumption that a 38DD and 36 C were the same thing.  Instead I said no and went home depressed.  I was at a loss.  I had been wearing that bra for years, where was I supposed to go?

For some reason I had always had an aversion to Victoria’s Secret.  Maybe it was because every model was a little too thin for my liking (I think curvy is sexy, but that’s just me) or that they pushed their boobs up so much, it looked uncomfortable to breath.  Or maybe it was because the last time I had set foot in a store, over 10 years ago, I was informed by a snotty salesperson that they didn’t carry over a C in store.  But I broke down and went in, determined to find my replacement over the shoulder boulder holder.

I had done a little research online before hand, and was thrilled they now carried D and DD in store.  I looked around and found about the same style as my old one (no thanks to the two sales people who stood 10 feel from me discussing lip gloss with each other and never glanced in my direction.  Don’t worry, I’m not bitter…much) and took a guess at my size.  I grabbed a 36 D and headed for the fitting room.  Now let me explain, I have been very attached to my DD status.  I know that no one is going to know but me, well and I guess everyone else since I’m sharing it on my blog, but the idea of going down to a D scared the crap out of me.  I knew if that happened, I would not be surprised if I shed a little tear in the fitting room.  Sad but true.

Much to my joy, the D was too small!  The fit was alright, but I had a major quad, and that just wouldn’t do.  The sweet girls in the fitting room got me a 36DD to try and TA-DA!  The girls were looking fantastic!  Granted, I still didn’t love it like my old bra, but I was pretty happy.  Just to be sure though, I put on a shirt and sent a photo to my best friend to make sure she agreed.  I’m not sure how I lucked out to have such an awesome friend who puts up with me like that.  I guess tolerates me is a better way to put it  J

Here is the bra I settled on.  Just enough lift, just enough padding.

It was a little weird to have an 18 year old awkward guy help me at the checkout counter.  I wasn’t too excited about him touching my bra, but maybe that’s the closest he’ll ever get to a real boob, haha  ;)  The price tag of $50 shocked me a bit, but I wasn’t going to waste hours of my life trying on multiple bras just to save $10.  It was pricey, but worth it, and now I don’t feel at all weird when I check myself out in the mirror  J

So ladies, please, I beg you, get a good fitting bra.  Show off those girls!  I promise your self esteem will be better than it has in years  J