Friday, February 12, 2016

Why I Need a Dating Coach aka my girl crush on Lauren....

It's no secret that I like to date.  I love meeting new people and seeing if we connect.  Even if there isn't anything romantic, most of the time I can get a new friend out of it.  Or if it's really bad, at least I got a really good story out of it.....and I have A LOT of those.

Dating is something in life I think all singles need to take advantage of.  Date a lot!  Even if you don't think it's a match, give it a shot.  Some of the best marriages I have ever seen, there wasn't an initial chemistry or attraction.  My personal rule is that unless you feel that you will be in personal danger, say yes to a first date.  I actually think you should say yes for three dates, but some people need baby steps ;)

But even though I have had more than my fair share of dates, I have only had 2 boyfriends.  Yep, 2.  I didn't even have my first boyfriend until I was 32.  I just wasn't good at turning dates into something more.

When I got the opportunity to work with the LDS Matchmaker last year, I jumped at the chance.  While all of her services have helped me, nothing even compares to the change I found from working with a dating coach.

I know a lot of you are asking "What the heck is a dating coach?".  Basically, it's a therapist you work with on your dating and relationship issues.  Her main goal is to figure out the road blocks so you can fall in love and find someone to spend your life with.

So why would anyone need a dating coach, especially me?  For me, I like to buy self help books.  Now let me clarify, I like to buy them.  I don't really like to read them.  I have a whole collection sitting on my bookshelf collecting dust, and the majority of them are about dating.

Books are great.  I love the smell of them, the feel of the paper.  These books are full of great advice and life changing information.  The bad part about books?  You aren't accountable to them.  Books aren't scheduling weekly meetings with you, asking questions and really getting to the root of the problem.  I needed more than a book.

Lauren (my dating coach) was exactly what I needed.  She not only listened to what I had to say, she listened to what I DIN'T have to say.  She figured out the true meaning behind my words, my insecurities.

And the best part, she called me out on my crap.  Anytime I said something that sounded good, but wasn't what I really meant, she would call BS on me so fast it would make your head spin.

I am a bit of a strong personality (putting it mildly) and she had no problem stepping up to the plate.  And I respected her for that.

Now don't get me wrong, she wasn't ever argumentative or abrasive.  She is kind, funny and truly has the best intentions for her clients.  She wants you to succeed!

I also had some of the most spiritual experiences during our sessions.  We both shed many tears talking about our love for the gospel and knowing Heavenly Fathers unwavering love for me.  She built my testimony in ways I had never imagined.

In our 13 sessions, she gave me weekly homework assignments.  Challenges that pushed me out of my comfort zone and really helped me grow.  She got me out of my own way from finding a truly meaningful relationship.

Last night was my last session with her, and it was incredibly bittersweet.  I will miss my weekly chats with the woman who I now consider my dear friend.  But much more than sadness, I left feeling nothing but hopeful.

In the next few months, I will be writing blog posts talking about some of the most life changing things I learned.  I want nothing more than to help all of my single friends find love, and keep it forever.

But if you really want to change your life, set up a consultation with the LDS Matchmaker.  What do you have to lose?  :)