Monday, April 11, 2016

Why Am I Single? The Question That Changed Everything…..

Why Am I Single?

This is a question that every single person has asked themselves, probably multiple times.  Most of the time it has a negative context, depression and wondering if marriage will ever happen and what we are doing wrong that is preventing it.

A few months ago I was asked this question, and everything changed.

I was in an appointment with my dating coach and she asked me the question.  My mind automatically went to the negative.  Am I not trying hard enough?  Am I not pretty enough?  What can I do to change?

Lauren looked at me and said “Do you think that if Heavenly Father wanted you to be married right now, that you would be?”

The question stopped me in my tracks.  I had to stop and think about it.  Did I truly believe that Heavenly Father would help marriage happen for me at the right time?  Yes, of course I did.

Lauren shared with me something she struggled with before she met her now husband, and the answer that she received.  Rather than praying for a spouse and to move onto that next step, she felt prompted to ask what she should be learning while she was single.  She knew she needed to shift her focus to helping other singles, it was one of her greatest strengths.

So she presented the question to me.  Why am I single?  But instead of thinking about what I’m doing wrong, she wants me to think about what I need to be learning.  What are things that Heavenly Father wants me to accomplish that I couldn’t if I was married?

Being single is not a punishment.  It is not a holding pattern where we wander aimlessly until we find a spouse and start that part of our lives.  This is a time where we can contribute so much to our communities, wards, and others. 

As soon as she got me thinking about this question in such a different way, everything changed for me.  I felt a peace that I have never known.  Of course I will still do everything I can to find that person, that is still extremely important.  But for the time being, I want to grow and become the person He wants me to be.

So I ask each of you, why are you single?