Monday, June 27, 2016

My First Date In Utah

Part 2 in my series of my weirdest dates and/or interactions with men....

My First Date in Utah....

*Just a heads up, this story is nowhere near as crazy as my last one, but still good/bad enough for a blog post.  Needless to say, it wasn't the best way to start my Utah dating experience.*

When I first moved to Salt Lake City, I had never had any experience with a mid-singles ward before.  Because I didn't know anyone, I wanted to jump into things as quickly as possible.  I did some research online and tried to figure out which ward I should be in (I was wrong by the way) and reached out to the Executive Secretary to set up an appointment with the Bishop.

While chatting over text, he asked if I would like to go out with him sometime.  I said yes and we set it up for that Saturday.  I texted him my address and he asked me for the whole address.  This was weird, because I gave him the whole address.  He asked me for more numbers and I had no idea what that meant.  Being from Colorado, I wasn't familiar with the grid system, so I had no idea what information he was trying to get.  He then asked me to walk out to the street sign and read him all the numbers.  Ummm, what?  My friend I was staying with lived on a street that didn't have the weird cross streets (like 200 S 451 E) instead it was a normal address (like 1234 Washington Lane).  Again he asked me for all the numbers.  I told him I didn't know what he meant.  He then asked me how to get there.  At this point I was getting super annoyed and I finally asked if he has GPS on his phone.  He said yes and I asked if he couldn't just get direction from there?  I guess that must have worked because he stopped asking for more information.

On Saturday he picked me up and when we got to the car, he opened my door for me.  I must have been a little too enthusiastic in my "thank you" because when he got in the car, he made some comment about how I must have never had a guy treat me well before (umm, not accurate at all.  I just like to show my appreciation when guys are gentlemen).

I asked what he had planned and he said we were going to a friends house to watch the "Holy War" (the Utah vs BYU football game).  When we finally got to house, he parked his car and asked if I would mind if he texted a few people for his calling.  I said sure, so he grabbed a giant binder from his back seat and proceeded to text and call people.

For 30 minutes.

And all I could do was sit there.

He finally finished and we went to the front door.  His friend answers and the only thing my date says is "do you have a computer I can use?".  He goes inside and heads to a desk in the living room and opens a laptop.  He doesn't introduce me, he doesn't even make sure I'm in the house.  So I walk in awkwardly and say hi to a group of 20 people by myself.  I'm a pretty outgoing person, but this was even weird for me.

By the time we got to the party, the game was half over.  So I sat, by myself, watching a game with people I didn't know, while my date sat on a laptop not talking to me or anyone else.

When the game was over, my date finally closes the laptop and says "Thanks for having us over" and walks out the front door.  Apparently we are leaving, so I look around and say nice to meet you and follow him out.  He is already in his car and waiting for me.

At this point I'm done and I just want to go home.  He asks if I want to grab dinner, but I say something about needing to get home.  I have no idea where we are, and he starts (what I feel like is just randomly) starts driving around.  It turns out we are in West Valley, and it doesn't seem to be the friendliest neighborhoods.  All of a sudden he makes a U turn and drives into what looks like an abandoned parking lot.  I honestly thought "Is this really how I'm going to die?  After a really bad date?  Thanks Utah".  I ask him where we are going and he replies something like "Why do you seem nervous?".  He drives around a few more deserted buildings, turns a corner and pulls into a gas station.  Guess I won't die after all...

Finally we are on the way home.  He drives back on different freeways than we came in and I am totally lost.  I know only 1 exit to get to my house, and he passes it.  I say "I think that was the exit?".  He gets quiet and then says "You seem like a very open minded person".

Oh yea, this can only lead to good things.

"And you seem like the person that if someone had some criticism for you, you would take it to heart".

All I can muster at this point is "ummm, ok"

"You should never, ever criticize a mans driving."

No for real, that's his advice for me.

I reply "I wasn't criticizing, I just wasn't sure if you knew you missed the exit".

"You should never criticize a mans driving".

Yep, I'm done.  I'm sure I said something passively back, but at this point I just wanted to get home.

Finally he pulls into my driveway.  He makes a big deal about coming around to open my car door (because apparently he's an amazing gentleman) and walks me to the door.  He gives me a hug and tells me what a great time he has had and would love to get together again.

Needless to say, there wasn't a second date.  Thankfully, my other Utah dates got a lot better.....

Friday, June 3, 2016

Queen Sloth

This is the first post in my series of worst date/experiences with guys I have had.  Let me clarify, the guy I am talking about in this one I never dated, but it was so crazy it just had to share.  It's crazy enough that the people I have had read the messages I almost wish I had recorded their faces while they read because it was so crazy.  If I didn't have the screen shots, I honestly don't think anyone would believe it happened.

I met this guy at church, and only talked to him for about a minute.  He seemed nice enough and he asked if I could send him invites to events that were happening.  Since that is something I used to do, I said sure.  A few weeks later I had a party at my house and he came.  I remember talking to him briefly and thinking he was a little socially awkward, but that seems to be pretty common anymore so I didn't think much of it.

A little over a week later I get a late night call from two of my friends.  They told me they had met this guy at the party and he had asked for their numbers.  They were uncomfortable, but agreed.  One of them had just started dating someone and let him know, but he continued to text her.  The texts were harmless, but still unwanted.

The other girl had a bit of a different experience.  She had avoided his texts and a few phone calls and was just hoping he would go away.  The night that she called me, he had left her a 4 minute voicemail that was fairly bizarre.  He alternated from telling her how beautiful she was, to criticizing her life choices, including her decision to go to a family ward instead of a singles ward (this must really bother him because it comes up later).

I have a big problem with avoiding or "ghosting" someone, it's happened to me and it sucks.  I told the second girl that I need her to be direct with him.  She could be mean or nice about it, but she had to say the words "I'm not interested".  A lot of times girls think they are being clear with guys and they aren't at all, so when people ask me for dating advice, this is one of the first things I tell them.  This is also shows if a man will be graceful about it, or freak out.

The next day she texted me saying that she had texted him very nicely that she was flattered, but not interested.  He tried to call her, but she didn't answer (she was at work, but didn't want to talk anyway).  She then received the following text (I couldn't figure out how to get a print screen of it because it's too long, sorry).  I have taken out any names so everyone can remain anonymous;

**Can you please call me when you're off work? I'm not a robot and neither are you.  Texting has it's place like if you're at work, in a meeting,  hosting a client or the topic of the conversation is inappropriate in public, private in nature, or each person is in a loud environment and unable to "give" full attention to another. Otherwise, texting is for immature people or who those who a perhaps too selfish to part with their own time for another. Boiled down, as a man of God, texting in my fair opinion is various levels of PRIDE & SLOTH. It attracts laziness, ego inflation, grandiosity, & feel its a tool of the Devil to separate hearts, & take lives in traffic.

Passionate words from a passionate man.

I'm assuming you're at work, on lunch & choose not to take my call.

I can relate. I'll be patient with you. I want to respect your process of what you're dealing with that has validated your thinking to allow you to believe it's okay to be in a "Family Ward" as a Single.

My view on this is, it's very understandable if you're healing from say a divorce, grieving a loved one...Something major.

However,  if you're avoiding something in your life, or too SLOTHFUL to get it together on a Sunday or it's convenient to go dumpy to the local family ward, then it's just SLOTH validates by PRIDE & EGO. These sins create separation from God's Will & allows us to remain unsurrended & disobedient to God's greater good.

Be a big girl, and return my calls, ****. You'll probably be grateful later you did.

Tough love,
End of Text

At this point, I knew he was fairly crazy.  Because he had met them at my party, and they came to me with valid concerns, I decided to send him a message on Facebook.  This was when he decided to take the lid completely off his crazy and let it go everywhere....

My messages are the ones in blue;

Yep, crazy pants.  Thankfully, I have a strong enough sense of self worth that this did not effect me in the least.  I have not seen or heard from him since this happened.  

My life is never dull.  Much love,
Sloth Queen