I met this guy at church, and only talked to him for about a minute. He seemed nice enough and he asked if I could send him invites to events that were happening. Since that is something I used to do, I said sure. A few weeks later I had a party at my house and he came. I remember talking to him briefly and thinking he was a little socially awkward, but that seems to be pretty common anymore so I didn't think much of it.
A little over a week later I get a late night call from two of my friends. They told me they had met this guy at the party and he had asked for their numbers. They were uncomfortable, but agreed. One of them had just started dating someone and let him know, but he continued to text her. The texts were harmless, but still unwanted.
The other girl had a bit of a different experience. She had avoided his texts and a few phone calls and was just hoping he would go away. The night that she called me, he had left her a 4 minute voicemail that was fairly bizarre. He alternated from telling her how beautiful she was, to criticizing her life choices, including her decision to go to a family ward instead of a singles ward (this must really bother him because it comes up later).
I have a big problem with avoiding or "ghosting" someone, it's happened to me and it sucks. I told the second girl that I need her to be direct with him. She could be mean or nice about it, but she had to say the words "I'm not interested". A lot of times girls think they are being clear with guys and they aren't at all, so when people ask me for dating advice, this is one of the first things I tell them. This is also shows if a man will be graceful about it, or freak out.
The next day she texted me saying that she had texted him very nicely that she was flattered, but not interested. He tried to call her, but she didn't answer (she was at work, but didn't want to talk anyway). She then received the following text (I couldn't figure out how to get a print screen of it because it's too long, sorry). I have taken out any names so everyone can remain anonymous;
**Can you please call me when you're off work? I'm not a robot and neither are you. Texting has it's place like if you're at work, in a meeting, hosting a client or the topic of the conversation is inappropriate in public, private in nature, or each person is in a loud environment and unable to "give" full attention to another. Otherwise, texting is for immature people or who those who a perhaps too selfish to part with their own time for another. Boiled down, as a man of God, texting in my fair opinion is various levels of PRIDE & SLOTH. It attracts laziness, ego inflation, grandiosity, & feel its a tool of the Devil to separate hearts, & take lives in traffic.
Passionate words from a passionate man.
I'm assuming you're at work, on lunch & choose not to take my call.
I can relate. I'll be patient with you. I want to respect your process of what you're dealing with that has validated your thinking to allow you to believe it's okay to be in a "Family Ward" as a Single.
My view on this is, it's very understandable if you're healing from say a divorce, grieving a loved one...Something major.
However, if you're avoiding something in your life, or too SLOTHFUL to get it together on a Sunday or it's convenient to go dumpy to the local family ward, then it's just SLOTH validates by PRIDE & EGO. These sins create separation from God's Will & allows us to remain unsurrended & disobedient to God's greater good.
Be a big girl, and return my calls, ****. You'll probably be grateful later you did.
End of Text
At this point, I knew he was fairly crazy. Because he had met them at my party, and they came to me with valid concerns, I decided to send him a message on Facebook. This was when he decided to take the lid completely off his crazy and let it go everywhere....
My messages are the ones in blue;
Yep, crazy pants. Thankfully, I have a strong enough sense of self worth that this did not effect me in the least. I have not seen or heard from him since this happened.
My life is never dull. Much love,