The Secrets to Online Dating - Part 1

One of the most beneficial things I have learned from working with the LDS Matchmaker is the secrets to online dating.  Some of the most important things I learned are trade secrets so you'll have to learn them straight from the experts, but I have a few things I can share.

PHOTOS

Whether it's ldsplanet.com, Tinder, or even just your Facebook profile, photos are incredibly important.  I'm not saying you need to look like a model, but you should at least be presentable.  Here is a list of some do's and don'ts to help.

DON'T
     Put photos in your profile where you are with someone else or a large group.
 If it's a member of the opposite sex (even a sibling) the first impression is that you are dating them.
 If it's a member of the same sex, there is a chance they will think your friend is hotter than you are.  If it's a group photo, it's hard to figure out which one you are.

DO
Have at least one full body photo.  Men are visual, and, like it or not, their attraction includes more than just your face.  Forcing them ask for it later down the road makes them come off as a creeper when the majority of the time they aren't.  Just put the full body photo up at the beginning.

DON'T
Have the "Dateline Pedophile" photo that's grainy and taken from a webcam on your computer in a poorly lit room.

DO
Trim your beard.  A lot of women love a man with a beard, but if it looks like small creatures are nesting in it, it's not very appealing.

DON'T
Only have photos of you that are more than 10 years old.

DO
Ladies - If you like to ski or snowboard, have a photo of this.  I don't know why, but it attracts men like moths to a flame.

DON'T
Only have photos of comic book characters.  There is nothing wrong with having a hobby, but when that's all you have or talk about, women assume you are creepy and live in your parents basement.

DO
Wear lipstick.  It sounds silly, but it makes a huge difference.

DON'T
Have photos of you out drinking at the bars if your profile claims you are looking for a nice LDS guy/girl.

DO
SMILE!  Yes the coy smirk can be cute for a photo, but if every single photo isn't a real smile, I will assume you have some seriously jacked up teeth.

DON'T
Take a photo of your drivers license photo.  Seriously, I don't want to say how many times I have seen this......

DO
Wear clothing that accents your figure.  No one says you have to be any certain size, but dress in a way that makes you feel great.

DON'T
Pose seductively on a fur rug or chaise lounge.  This is especially directed towards the men....

DO
Have photos of you doing your favorite hobbies (traveling, hiking etc).

DON'T
This is especially for the men.  Don't make every photo of you rock climbing, biking or generally anything that you are doing a cool activity, but you can't see your face.  One of those is fine, but let's be honest, you aren't Bear Grylls.

DO
Switch up your photos!  Every few weeks rotate the photos you have, it helps attract a whole new group of potentials  :)

DON'T
Have photos of you at the gym.  Unless your ultimate goal is to only date another gym rat, it just makes you look like a tool.

DO
Especially if you are a guy, post photos of you with puppies.  It's a sure fire win  :)

DON'T
Have photos of you with kids that aren't yours.  Yes, I get that you want to show everyone you can't wait to birth some babies, but it's more confusing than anything.

And as always, for help from the real experts, visit www.theldsmatchmaker.com 

They Aren't All Bad. In Fact, Most of Them Aren't

I like to get a laugh.  One of the easiest ways I have found to do this is by talking about my strange dating life.  With some of the experiences I have had, I have always found it is better to see the humor in it, rather than acknowledging the soul sucking existence being single in your 30's can be. Again I kid, it's really not that bad, really.

But it has come to my attention that by so frequently making light of my dates failures, I might be putting the wrong message out there.  And I think that's true.  So I wanted to clarify something very important.

There are way more amazing guys out there than weirdo's.  A LOT!!!

When I did my 100 date challenge in 2014, I had a few intentions in mind.  It's no secret, I wanted to fall in love.  I wanted to meet someone amazing, get married, maybe pop out some babies.  I knew it was a long shot, but wouldn't it be a great "How we met" story??  And at the very least, I would get some great stories about weird dates I went on.  Unfortunately, not much of either happened.

Something pretty amazing did happen.  As you have probably noticed, I don't have tons of stories from those dates.  Well at least not the kind of "Here's the latest weird crap in my life" stuff that I'm used to.  Instead, I met some pretty wonderful men.

No, I did not find the man I want to marry.  Sometimes I was into them, but they didn't feel the same.  Sometimes they were into me, but I didn't feel the same.

But these men I met were surprisingly, normal!  Intelligent, funny, spiritual, good guys.

Some examples;

They were all true gentleman.  One date not only opened my door, he offered his hand to help me get out of the car (I found this incredibly swoon worthy).  Part of our date was going to a game night at a friends house.  When we were getting ready to leave, he went and found my coat, helped me into it, and swept my hair from under the collar so it wouldn't be stuck in my jacket.  He was an incredibly genuine and kind man and it showed in everything he did.  *And because I know you will all ask, he didn't feel a spark which was fine.  He recently got married and is very happy :)

One man, who I lovingly refer to as "The Nerd", will always be one of my favorites.  Our dates were always filled with laughter and he was willing to put up with my bizarre adventures.  He was thoughtful, giving and loved his nerdy comic stuff (but in a charming way).  *It wasn't something that developed into anything more than friendship, but he is hands down one of the best men that I have ever met!  Ladies, he's still single.....

I could go on and on (I promise I will post more about these guys in the future).  I cannot believe what incredible men there are out there!

So while I do have some insane dating stories that I love to share, it doesn't mean that I think all guys are crazy.  Most aren't.  And I think guys get a bad wrap, but more about that another time....

Ladies, don't give up hope!  Good men are out there, but YOU HAVE TO GIVE THEM A CHANCE!  Please, I beg you, go on a date, even if you don't think you are interested.  It doesn't hurt to have a fun evening with someone.  And on one of those dates, it's going to turn into something more.  I know it will for me  :)