Monday, July 16, 2012

Step Away From the Keyboard! Why I think texting is ruining dating...

Step Away From the Keyboard!  Why I think texting is ruining dating...

Anyone who knows me well will probably laugh that I am writing about this subject.  I am the first to admit that I love to text.  I don’t particularly enjoy long phone conversations and sometimes a text is the perfect way to get across information.  But in this age of advanced technology, I’ve realized that texting is hurting our social skills, especially in dating.

Recently I started emailing someone I met online and gave him my number.  I can be hard to get a hold of by phone, so I told him he could text me if he would rather.  It started off well, but because of work and social events there were times it would take me a day to respond.  After a few days he brought this up saying “Why does it take you so long to respond sometimes?  I feel like you might be too busy to take the time to get to know someone”.  First off, I have to give to guy credit for being direct with me since I think communication is so important.  If you don’t tell me something is bothering you, how will I ever know?

But it also annoyed me, and it got me thinking.  What happened to the time when you would meet someone, ask for their number, wait a day or two then call to ask them out?  Maybe you would chat for a little while, then call the day before to confirm, but that was pretty much it.  Why have we become so obsessed with instant gratification that if we are not in constant contact within the first few weeks of meeting the person, we feel that the other isn’t interested?  So many of us (and I am one of them) have sat anxiously checking our phone every few minutes waiting for that return text.

Am I the only one that feels we text so much, by the time we get to the date, we don’t have as much to say?  Don’t you want to get to know someone by spending actual time with them?  Hearing their voice, learning what their facial expressions mean and their body language?  Texts can be so misleading, sarcasm isn’t as easily picked up, to make sure it doesn’t across wrong you feel the need to end each sentence with a smiley face (I am totally guilty of this) or lol?

What is so wrong with having a chance to miss the other person for a little while?  To actually get excited for the count down to see or hear from them again?  And don’t you have other things to do than sit on your phone all day?  If you are at work, focus on work!  Your phone should only come out on breaks and lunch, this is pretty basic.  If you are with friends, leave your phone in your pocket and focus on the people you are actually with (again this is something I am really bad at, but I am making a big effort to improve).

If the person is on your mind, then I think it is totally find to text just to say you were thinking of them, or you hope they are having a good day.  Or if I had a good date, I like to send a text saying thank you and that I had a good time (it gives them the clear go ahead if they want to ask you out again).  But if you really want to get to know someone, call them and ask them out!  Or if you want to start off as friends, invite them to a group activity where you can talk. 

But for heavens sake, raise your hands and step away from the keyboard!

1 comment:

  1. AMEN! I am guilty of a few of those things in there as well but I as well am trying really hard lately to keep my phone away when with friends. It's a work in progress for sure. I think the thrill of not knowing someone on the first date and having the excitment of getting to know them and seeing their expressions and hearing their tone is a lot of the fun of going on a date. We're so caught up in a technical world that we do want the instant gratification and we want that instant flirting that it gets so drilled into the ground and no longer becomes fun because things get so "serious" too quick. example: someone asking you why does it take you so long to respond. someone missunderstanding your tone in a text. someone saying something or asking something way too personal way too soon because they have more balls over text than in person. Anyhow, well done on this post, well done. I agree. *Hands away from the phone/keyboard*