Tuesday, March 25, 2014

Same Barbie, Different Package

Dates Accomplished – 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35….65 to go!

The main question I get when people find out about my dating challenge is;  Why are you doing it?

That’s a good question.  One that I have been thinking a lot about.

There were several reasons I decided to give myself this challenge, but I think the main reason I am doing it, is because I am shocked that there would be that many guys who would be interested in dating me.  Why, you ask?

This was me 3 years ago.

Yep, that was me.  All 300 pounds of me. 

I decided to have gastric bypass surgery in 2011 and lost 150 pounds, literally half of my body weight.  It was the best decision I have ever made.

The best compliment I have received since having the surgery, is from people who knew me before I lost the weight.  They tell me that my personality hasn't changed at all since loosing the weight.  It may seem strange, but that was something very important to me.

Before I lost the weight, I wasn't horribly depressed, crying alone every night wondering why I was single.  I had a fantastic life, filled with lots of friends and fun.  I just happened to be morbidly obese.

When I was heavy, I had lots of guy friends, who were just friends, but I loved having them in my life.  They taught me so much about men, relationships and what to look for in people I wanted to surround myself with.  But I never got asked out, and I understood why, and I was ok with it.

Some people would argue with me.  “Aren’t you mad/sad?  If they love your personality so much, shouldn’t your looks not matter?”.  People are always surprised when I wouldn’t agree with them.  I understood.  I wasn’t just 30 pounds overweight, I was morbidly obese.  I weighed 300 pounds.  I understand that you must be attracted to the person you are with.  The reason I understood this and had no issue with it, was because I have never been attracted to morbidly obese men, even when I was heavy.  That didn’t mean they were bad people, or that they didn’t have wonderful things to offer, I just wasn’t attracted to them.

So I understood when men weren't attracted to me.  Simple, honest.  No excuses.  Just a basic understanding.

What I haven’t understood as much is now that I have lost the weight, how so many guys are interested, but as soon as they find out I used to be heavy, disappear.  And this isn’t just an occasional thing, it happens all the time. 

It normally happens like this.  Either we meet online or in person.  We become Facebook friends, they then look thru my photos.  I don’t hide the way I used to look, you can see my transformation in my profile photos.  They send me a message, something along the lines of “Wow, is that really you in your photos?  What an amazing transformation.  You should be really proud of yourself”.  And then I never hear from them again.

I have asked a lot of my trusted guy friends why they think this happens.  Most start out with saying that the guy in question is a douche.  Haha, I love them  J  But the main thing they all say, is that the guy is probably terrified that I will gain the weight back.  I can understand this fear, but I also know plenty of girls who were a size 2 when they got married, and gained weight after kids.  Life happens. 

I could let it get to me, but I also keep in mind that there were also lots of things I used to do/be.  If he can’t handle that I was fat, he isn’t going to handle that I have a past.  Plain and simple.

So back to the dating challenge. 

For the first time in my life, guys actually want to go on a date with me.  It’s been a blast getting to know so many, cute, fun, wonderful guys. 

So when people ask me why am I doing the challenge?  

The simple answer is, because I can  J

1 comment:

  1. I would have gone out with you before... i had a GB also..